funeral

We just celebrated the life of Grandma Payne, an amazing woman of God and Michael's grandmother on his mother's side. Although funerals are never a good thing, something amazing generally always happens at them. So I thought I'd make a list of the good things about Grandma Payne's funeral.

• celebrating the 89 years of a remarkable woman
• seeing family that I don't get to see that often
• meeting family members I haven't met before and learning about their lives
• hearing stories about the "old" days, when life was much simpler
• learning that Grandma Payne loved Krispy Kreme donuts and her two favorite seasonings were salt and pepper
• seeing pictures of the younger versions of people I've only met since I met Michael
• hearing one of Michael's cousins on the phone with her son say, "I know what's wrong with you, you're 17 and you're a moron."
• getting to hang out with my sister-in-law, who has also been my "bestest friend" since 8th grade
• all the hugs
• all the love
• lasagna and coca-cola cake!!!
• the laughter shared by friends and family as we remembered the times when Grandma made us laugh, and the tears shared as we all realized just how much we will miss this remarkable woman who loved the Lord with all her heart and loved her neighbors as she loved herself
• thanking God for the blessing of this wonderful family He has allowed me to be a part of
• the reminder that life is short and the reminder of all I take for granted
• knowing that when I get to heaven, Grandma Payne will be there among my other friends and family who are already there
  

LIGHTS

I walked in Walmart last Saturday, the Saturday after Halloween, and before my eyes stood a Christmas tree, and I had to smile. I was excited!!! I love how something changes in most people around Thanksgiving and people get a little nicer, are more inclined to give to others, etc.

I have to admit, I am one to get all caught up in it though. I love to give gifts, and I will confess, I like to receive gifts. Now I wouldn't sulk if gifts were not a part of it, but that is part of the fun. My Mom and my in-laws always want a list, which is wonderful to get the things I want, and usually they get something that wasn't on the list which is always a pleasant surprise. Then there's always the challenge of those hard-to-buy-for people, which I'm not sure how well I do at that. Then there's the challenge of the affordable office gifts, so you don't go broke buying for the people you work with, but you don't want to buy something that's going to be sold at their next yard sale either.

I LOVE Christmas lights. The reason we bought a Jeep with a hard top instead of the easy-to-retract top with plastic windows is because I couldn't imagine driving around looking at Christmas lights though plastic windows. I love decorating our tree and looking at the ornaments and the memories they bring. If I get an ornament as a gift, I write the year and whom the ornament was from on the bottom, and I always took as I'm putting the ornaments on the tree.

I wonder what God thinks about how Americans celebrate Christmas. I wonder if He just looks at us and chuckles, the same way Jesus must have looked at the disciples many times and had to refrain from laughing out loud as to not hurt their feelings over things they thought were so important, but in the big picture, the picture Jesus sees, were so minute. I wonder if it makes Him mad. I wonder how many people who don't think about Jesus on a regular basis think about Him during this season. I wonder if God smiles as He hears the voices of choirs singing Christmas music, or if it breaks His heart because of the pain those who are singing the words are covering up inside and are refusing to trust Him to relieve it.

I wonder what God thinks of me and the way I celebrate in His love and the gift of His Son whom He sent here to die for my sins. May my focus be on the glory of God and less on the glory of the worldly celebration of this holiday.

Some things that I enjoy...

• watching football with Michael
• pretty much doing anything with Michael
• scribing - I'm in the book of Matthew right now, and it's been cool scribing through it
• getting an unexpected note from a friend in the mail
• seeing kids dressed up for Halloween
• when Michael comes up with some new combination of food that I would have never tried on my own, and it's healthy and tastes delicious
• listening to my mp3 while I'm running
• green tea
• fitting into a smaller size clothing
• when Tabor poops on the hill in the weeds, which means we don't have to clean up after him
• reading a good book - I am about to finish "Breaking Dawn"
• hanging out with my friends

Personal Best

Yesterday I went running and ran 4-1/4 miles in about 45 minutes which means I run each mile in 11+minutes. I really want to run my next 5K race in 30 minutes or less, which means I need to be able to run the miles in 9+ minutes, but I can't get below 10+.

When we went to do cardio today, I decided I didn't want to run any long distance because I ran yesterday, so I ran 1 mile and then walked 2 more. I decided I'd go all out on the mile I was going to run and not pace myself like I do when I'm going to run longer distances, and I ran that mile in 8:49!!! I couldn't believe it! It could be a lifetime personal best for me. I was never a fast runner, not that I think that is all that fast, but for me, it is.

So I can run a mile in around 9 minutes. Now if I can work up to running 3 of them in that time, that would be amazing!!!

helpless

Several of my friends recently have expressed to me that they have been in a "funk" or in a "dry place" - basically every one of my friends that I would consider to be a very close friend, and my heart is very heavy for each of them. They have expressed disillusionment with God, Christianity, their lives in general. I am at a loss as to know how to respond. Sometimes my responses to them even sound trite in my own ears; I can't begin to imagine what they must be thinking when I try to offer words of encouragement and hope. I'm not trying to offer some easy way out for them, because I know it's through tough times and times when we don't feel God or sense that He is there that He is even then showing us something, teaching us something, helping us grow, working in us through the struggle.

Each of these friends has a relationship with God that I think is so precious. I have been through some very cool experiences with each of these ladies and I have witnessed special moments of revelation when I have seen God reach down and kiss them on the forehead or draw them into His embrace. I have felt God reaching out to me through them in unique ways that comes out of the depths of their relationship with God, our Daddy.

I have an overwhelming feeling of helplessness, which is probably a good thing. God's probably thinking, "Good, then I can get you out of the way." I may feel helpless but not hopeless. I will hold onto hope for my friends if they ever get to a place where they can barely hang on to it themselves, even if they feel they can't hang on any longer. I will always love them, pray for them, and see the best in them. They are my friends, and my world would be so different without them.

Good rainy day!

Things I've enjoyed about today:

• getting up early with Michael
• not having a lot I needed to do away from the Lofts
• picking Jeep up from the shop and having all brake lights and signals working again
• getting things done in advance for a weekend retreat I am working
• getting some cleaning done
• spending time thinking about things that would bring me closer to God
• seeing the 4 finalists from "Project Runway" on Regis & Kelly

Things I didn't enjoy about today:

• picking up the Jeep and it costing over $200 to get the work done we needed
• having to go back to Walmart because I forgot to get something while I was there
• realizing I've missed the last 6 weeks of "Project Runway" - I thought it was already over and I'd just missed it
• having my arms and hands full and having a hard time managing the umbrella on my way in the Lofts from my car
  

Revolution Students

Last night was the launch for UPRISING, the student ministry at Revolution Church. It was an amazing night, and I was so honored to be a part of it. God really pulled everything together and outside of 87 students being there, which was an amazing number considering nothing has happened with the students specifically since July, there were about 30 adults/college-age students there who were displaying true hearts of servants. The adults and college-age students are making up the team of volunteers who will be the heart beat of Revolution Students. Every one of them dug in where needed, took initiative, and made the whole evening a huge success. From running lights, sound, Pro Presenter, to putting chairs together, laying out red carpet rounds, hanging signs, moving furniture, directing traffic, gathering the signs, WHATEVER was needed, these people rose up and did what was needed no matter what it was.

The band was rockin-!!! Thad did an awesome job of leading the band and pulling it all together. He is a gifted worship leader, and it's awesome to see when he sings out to God and leads others to do so. You could hear the students singing too, and it was beautiful to hear their voices singing out to God with the band. The other guys in the band are very talented, and they rocked the house last night!

I was really proud of Michael. His heart is in the Revolution Student Ministry, and he has been living and breathing the details of last night for the last couple of months. I'm praying that what he shared last night about finding our identity in God versus what happens when we try to find our identity according to the world will get students thinking and considering what God has in store for them.

I can't wait to see what God has in store for Revolution Students!!!