4-square fun!!!

Yesterday, I got to play 4-square using 9-square rules. We played in my driveway. 4 adults playing 4-square in the front yard - sooooo much fun!!! I haven't played 4 -square in so long, and it was a blast. Adults should play 4-square or 9-square way more often. Why do we get so serious as adults? Why do we quit doing these fun things? I know people do fun stuff all the time, but for me it all seems to be so planned out. This was just a spontaneous game of 4-square, and I had a blast!

My mom, who is in her late 60's started shooting hoops again with some neighborhood kids. She used to be great at sports, and I'm so glad to hear that she is playing Horse and 21, and even though she says she comes in last most of the time, I know it's doing her some good to get out there and just do something fun.

I'm so thinking 4-square or 9-square needs to become a part of the small groups I am involved in, whether it's the 6th grade Fusion Freaks, my accountability group, or our community group. Could it be that 4-square is a community builder? I think it could be.

Hope to see you in the squares!

I scribed from Matthew this morning about Jesus calling Simon (Peter), Andrew, James and John to be His disciples. I so want to know more about this. I would love to be able to see this scene go down in real life and get the feelings, thoughts, words, actions of these first 4 men Jesus called to be His homeys. I know it says they left "at once" and "immediately", but there's got to be more to it. Could it be that simple to give up everything and follow? And what was their "everything", family, a home, a boat? What did it really mean to give up everything during the time they were on this earth? Did they know Jesus? Had they heard about Him? What were their lives like up to this point? Were these men unhappy with their current circumstances? Were they desperate? Had they been baptized by John? Were they present when John baptized Jesus? God knew who the 12 would be, so I don't see it all as a big mystery, but I would love to have a little more insight into the lives of these men.

a page is turned

Today a friend of mine leaves for Tanzania. She's giving up her life here in America to be the hands and feet and heart of Jesus in Tanzania where people are dying and children are starving. This life change is something she's dreamed of, worked towards, and God has beautifully brought it all together as her heart has heard His call and she has so willingly answered. Another chapter in her life begins today. I can't wait to hear and see what this chapter of her life looks like.

Bright Morning Star, I humbly and earnestly seek Your guidance and grace regarding the chapters of my life. May my storyline be more in line with the story You have written for me. Seeking and hoping!!!

the Open Door

A man met us at the front door. A man who was once homeless and a crack addict, who had the most welcoming eyes and tenderness about him, in spite of years of harshness he faced on the streets. He showed us to the kitchen and dining room where we would be serving the food we had prepared, and we met a younger man, just out of college, checking things out in this community we were visiting. He was there by choice. What choices led to him making the decision to graduate from college and go straight to living at a Soup Kitchen called the Open Door in downtown Atlanta, I have no idea, but I have a huge feeling it had something to do with God. When we go back, maybe I’ll find the specific answer to his riddle.

We met many lovely people at the Open Door, about 20 or so people who live in this big old house downtown, people who serve those who are labeled “less fortunate”, the homeless, addicts, and/or “needy” people of Atlanta. It’s so hard to define these people who I am beginning to see through God’s eyes. There are so many Atlantans who are needy and have homes, much less those who are needy who do not have homes or family to take care of them, that I hesitate to add that label, but they are people in need.

I am a needy person. One of my needs was met as my friends and I spent the evening at the Open Door - my need to step outside of myself and do something nice for someone else. We went to the Open Door to feed the servants who give up so much of themselves to serve homeless/less fortunate people every day. It is their life to live in this house in community with 20 other people and take care of the needs of others. It is such a beautiful place. I kept thinking, “I feel so at home here.” We were welcomed into the family with no hesitation and no judgment.

We were shown around the big house, and shown how everything works. It was all so organized and not like what I had imagined at all. The Open Door offers an opportunity for those who are usually not treated with dignity a chance to feel dignified. It’s a place to get a meal and eat in a nice dining area, take a shower, get a change of clothes, a new pair of shoes, and even something as small as using a bathroom, which is a huge problem for street people, because Atlanta has done away with public bathrooms and it is against the law to use the bathroom in public, so what is a homeless person to do?

Good grief! I have so much I want to share and can’t organize all my thoughts into one blog posting, so I guess more will have to come later. The one thing I do want to say is that it was an honor to go to the Open Door with the beautiful friends God has blessed me with. Each has their own special gifts and one of those is sharing the love of Christ with me and others.

The Simple Life

Why does it seem so hard to live the simple way? It must be my skewed perception that makes it hard for me to see how simple it is. Please don’t confuse simple with easy, although it sounds like the two should go hand in hand. Is it easy for anyone to live simply, especially when you have to make the choice to do so? It’s got to be more than just making a choice to do without. There are plenty of people who are forced to do without and their lives are far from what I would call simple.

There’s plenty I could do without. But what does it really mean to live simply? Isn’t that what people have been doing for hundreds of years. We’ve been striving to make things more efficient in order that life becomes less complicated, less hectic, but everything just seems to get more and more hectic the more efficient everything becomes.

I’m striving to learn and understand how God wants me to live simply. Is it a matter of simply living for Him? I feel like I don’t have any answers, but way deep down inside there’s something inside trying to get out. I can feel it. It’s like I know what to do, I just don’t know how to do it, or I just can’t see the answer clearly. I’m not sure if I need to take one huge leap of faith or a thousand baby steps of faith.

Whichever way You want it to be Bright Morning Star, I will humbly do. Please give me clarity to see what it is You want me to do or not do. Help me to become who You’ve created me to be. I am here. I am available. I am open.

Most of what we do in worldly life is geared toward our staying dry, looking good, not going under. But in baptism, in lakes and rain and tanks and fonts, you agree to do something that's a little sloppy because at the same time it's also holy, and absurd. It's about surrender, giving in to all those things we can't control; it's a willingness to let go of balance and decorum and get drenched.
- Anne Lamott from "Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith"

I read this the day after I shared with my friends that I thought I needed balance, but I wasn’t sure that’s what God wanted for me. It came in a daily e-mail I get from Sojourners.

I just don’t believe God wants us to be balanced, because that would mean that the part of me that is affected by the world and the part of me that is affected by God are the same, and wouldn’t that somehow cancel both of them out? I have prayed for balance sooo many times in my life. I wonder if when I pray this, God wants to take me by the shoulders and shake some sense into me.

But isn’t that what we are in search of, some balance where everything fits into its little place all nice and cozy, so we are all comfortable and everything is right with the world? What about right with God? I’ve believed that this balance would bring me happiness. But now I’m not so sure of that. In fact I’m not sure of it at all.

I think God is waiting on me to do something absurd. Something the world wouldn’t be expecting me to do – to give in to the things I can’t control. But this would put me so far out of balance! Well, it would put me out of the balance I’ve been searching for, but then maybe I’d have to depend on God a whole lot more for balance instead of depending on me or my circumstances for balance.

I’ve never thought I was a very controlling person. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my moments, but really what it looks like to me is I’ve been trying to control an uncontrollable God. Oh, believe me, it’s a weak attempt to control God, but I think I have been attempting to nonetheless.

So as the beginning of the chorus of the song that was sung at Fusion last night echoes through my mind, “So you want to change the world? What are you waiting for?” I ask myself, what am I waiting for?

Bright Morning Star, Uncontrollable Power and Passion, help me to let go of my idea of balance and find my balance in You, not the things of this world. Let me find comfort in being uncomfortable and unbalanced, knowing that You have me in the palm of Your hand.

something is happening

Something is going on; I just don't know what it is. I am filled with so many different feelings. Every day my dream gets bigger. Sometimes it seems attainable. Sometimes it doesn’t seem attainable at all. I feel like I’m on the edge of something big, but I just can’t see over the edge, and every day I feel closer to the edge, and at the same time, the edge seems so far away. I’m very excited to have a dream, btw. I don’t feel like I’ve really had one in a while, not one that was so big, so real, so exciting, yet so unattainable but that could only be attainable with God.

I’m going to see a movie tomorrow that sounds very interesting. God Grew Tired Of Us I’m so interested in this movie. I’m interested in knowing how someone who did not grow up here or without all the “luxuries” we have views America and Americans. (Can you tell I’m “interested”? I used the word three times in three sentences.) The dream I’m dreaming is so not the “American Dream.” I wouldn’t really know how to define my dream, maybe the “Impossibly Possible Dream.”

I just wonder how this dream is lining up with God’s plan for my life, because the only way it will become a reality is if it’s in line with God’s plan for my life.

Just a question: Do you think God is growing tired of Americans?