Oh that the Bright Morning Star would transform my heart. I am so conditioned to want something and go buy it for myself. I have no need for any thing. Don’t get me wrong, I have needs, spiritual needs, emotional needs, health needs, but as for a need of things, I lack nothing that could be labeled as a need.
So here’s what I’m struggling with at the moment. I don’t see a middle ground, although I know there is one, but I don’t think middle ground has anything to do with God. I feel like middle ground is compromise, and I know God wants all of me without compromise – to let go of my every thing so He can be my Everything, but how do I get there?
Gah, this could be a never ending "more later..." deal, cause how could I end this train of thought with that?
So, more later...
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2 comments:
the anxious struggle. i feel somewhat guilty for passing it off to you. but i really can't take any credit for that as i know it's a hunger that God has placed within you. i wish there was an answer i could give you, but i'm in the middle of the same dadgum struggle and feel like i hardly depend on God for a thing.
but pretty much you've convicted me much in the area of middle ground.
Ladies - This book has convicted me ... from the first chapter. How in the world did I ever let go of the desire God placed in me ever so long ago... a desire to serve on a full time basis. And now... with an amazing opportunity to make alot of money at work in one hand and a complete and utter desire to be on my knees to God serving others in the most unmaterialistic places in the other... Where, oh Where is the middle ground? I think I am there...and yes, it is a compromise.... Crap! What do I do now? God - come to me... talk to me... show me my next step... one step at a time....
And... as a light at the end of the dark, dark tunnel I am in... he is showing me my desire for service. I told this to HotZ last night... it is the most amazing thing that God gave to me during "shower prayers." It may be 1-2 years away, but that is nothing in the span of God's time. God is so COOL!!!
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