Pain = Life

Holy cow, I cannot believe it's been since July that I've blogged. I've so wanted to so many times, but since our lives changed and we've been at the ranch, I've been so focussed on what goes on here and learning about life with more than just Michael and me in our immediate family, that I couldn't come up with much to blog on. I kinda lost myself in the craziness of this new life. Not that I haven't had plenty to blog about, but I've been so focussed on life here, that every time I felt the desire to write something here, I couldn't come up with anything that didn't involve the boys. I just couldn't write without it being personalized about them. I couldn't figure out how to write about them using generalities; it's way too personalized to do that. But now (I hope) that I've found myself again and have way more to blog about.

For instance, pain. The last two days have involved physical pain for Michael. Yesterday, our dog's (Tabor) foot got caught in an animal trap, and while Michael was trying to free him from the trap, Tabor, in his panic of trying to free himself from the trap, was gnawing at Michael's hands. Once Tabor was free, we realized that he was okay, but there was blood everywhere from where Tabor had bit Michael several times. Tabor essentially was not hurt, and the blood that was on Tabor was Michael's blood, not his.

Then today, Michael was helping take apart a stage and one of the pieces of the stage fell on his back and leg, and we spent some time in the ER getting his leg stitched up. His back didn't need stitches, but that is where the piece of the stage hit him first, and that hurts worse than where he got stitches.

I know where I'm wanting to go with this, but I'm not sure how to get there...

So, if you're alive, you must experience pain. I mean isn't that the deal, once you're dead, um, no more pain? It's way more than just physical pain, it's emotional pain too. That goes away once you're dead too. But sometimes I go through times in my life that seem to be pretty pain free. So does that mean I'm not really living? Does it possibly mean that I'm not growing, or that I'm not living to the extent that God created me to live? God is ALIVE! Does He experience pain? Does God's heart hurt when I don't live out the life he created me to live?

But someone might argue that if God wants us to live life and live it to the fullest, why would He want us to experience pain? The simple answer for me is that living life to the fullest doesn't mean we are exempt from pain. I think to live life to the fullest, we must experience pain, heartbreak, loss, misunderstandings, and failures. It's getting through the pain that gets us closer, that helps us grow, that builds us up, that prepares us for the next steps of the journey.

But we pray so hard to be exempted from the pain, as opposed to God seeing us through the pain. I pray that I will not fear the pain, but that when it comes, that I will not be exempt from God holding me close in His arms and seeing me through it.